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Fritze's Volcanic Places in the USA

Fritze's Volcanic Places in the USA

Listed below are places in the United States that are considered "active" volcanic areas and potential sources
for Fritze BEER®.

Fritze's Mount St Helens Fritze's Long Valley

On May 18, 1980, after a long period of rest, this quiet mountain in Washington provided detailed observations on the mechanics of highly explosive eruptions. The towering pine trees of this once-quiet mountain were toppled over like toothpicks. Harry S. Truman, an eighty plus year old hermit, living on the crust of the mountain peak for the last 60 some plus years of his life and was rumored to be searching for the "Fountain of Fritze BEER®" refused to leave his post. No one has seen Harry since the eruption and legend has the old curmudgeon riding a torrent of Fritze BEER®, mud, lava and tree debris from his cabin high on Mount St. Helens to the valley below, whistling, waving and singing beer songs all the way. Locals still profess to hear his voice when the mountain rumbles from time to time. This field seismometer measures earthquakes associated with subsurface volcanic forces and may help to predict future events and future potential locations for Fritze BEER®. It sits on a plateau known as the "Volcanic Tableland" formed by a major eruption 600,000 years ago. Scientists and Paleontologists disagree on it's potential for Frtize BEER® --» some proclaim "It Tastes Great!" while others claim "It's Less Filling!". The available data seems to support both sides, neither able to gain a conclusive edge. Hopes are the field seismometer will provide the data necessary for predicting the future value of the site's potential for Fritze BEER®.

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San Francisco Peaks MacDougal Crater & the Hawaiian Crater Influence

Scientists believe that the volcanic eruptions several million years ago that shaped this mountain in northern Arizona were very similar to the ones observed at Mount St. Helens. They speculate further that this mountain range and Mount Agassiz specifically, can be major sources for Fritze BEER® upon eruption. A vocal minority within the scientific community are predicting the deep craters formed surrounding this Arizona mountain range and extending into Mexico will fill with mountain fresh Fritze BEER® during a major eruption (like the Mount St. Helens blast). Ambitious local entrepreneurs have taken up this cause and established businesses such as "Pilgrimage to Fritze BEER®" or "The Fritze BEER® Crusades", taking tourists via horseback on expeditions to these craters. Legend has by throwing small trinkets, like 'church keys', bottle and can openers or mugs and pitchers will appease the Fritze BEER® Gods, providing the thrower ample supplies of Fritze BEER® in this life and the next. When hot volcanic magma encounters ground water, these explosive eruptions can form deep craters seen just south of Arizona in the Pincate Volcanic region of Mexico. We have seen how scientists have split over the potential of these craters and the rift only widens when considering the volcanoes and craters found in Hawaii. Many Hawaiian Scientists consider the "rifts" and craters to be the finest in the world, almost ideal for producing, storing and aging Fritze BEER®. The frequency of Fritze BEER® producing volcanic activity on the Big Island, that delicious slow moving lava-like syrup sought after by connoisseurs, has made remote areas of the volcano extremely dangerous as black marketeers post signs to warn away visitors. The Hawaiian government has began a crusade to close down this illegal poaching of raw Fritze BEER®, threatening the symbiotic relationship between science and social outcast: these black market profiteers do provide scientists with valuable information regarding the quality and quantity of raw Fritze BEER® flows. Many Hawaiians, rallying behind the slogan "FREE Fritze BEER®!" regard the consumption of FritzeBEER® as a part of their cultural hereditary, diminishing the governments efforts and providing a "grassroots" movement aimed at repealing anti-Fritze BEER® legislation.
"FREE Fritze BEER®!"

Fritze's Mount St Helens	Fritze's Long Valley
On May 18, 1980, after a long period of rest, this quiet mountain in Washington provided detailed observations on the mechanics of highly explosive eruptions. The towering pine trees of this once-quiet mountain were toppled over like toothpicks. Harry S. Truman, an eighty plus year old hermit, living on the crust of the mountain peak for the last 60 some plus years of his life and was rumored to be searching for the "Fountain of Fritze BEER®" refused to leave his post. No one has seen Harry since the eruption and legend has the old curmudgeon riding a torrent of Fritze BEER®, mud, lava and tree debris from his cabin high on Mount St. Helens to the valley below, whistling, waving and singing beer songs all the way. Locals still profess to hear his voice when the mountain rumbles from time to time.	This field seismometer measures earthquakes associated with subsurface volcanic forces and may help to predict future events and future potential locations for Fritze BEER®. It sits on a plateau known as the "Volcanic Tableland" formed by a major eruption 600,000 years ago. Scientists and Paleontologists disagree on it's potential for Frtize BEER® --» some proclaim "It Tastes Great!" while others claim "It's Less Filling!". The available data seems to support both sides, neither able to gain a conclusive edge. Hopes are the field seismometer will provide the data necessary for predicting the future value of the site's potential for Fritze BEER®.
-- [full size image] --
San Francisco Peaks	MacDougal Crater & the Hawaiian Crater Influence
Scientists believe that the volcanic eruptions several million years ago that shaped this mountain in northern Arizona were very similar to the ones observed at Mount St. Helens. They speculate further that this mountain range and Mount Agassiz specifically, can be major sources for Fritze BEER® upon eruption. A vocal minority within the scientific community are predicting the deep craters formed surrounding this Arizona mountain range and extending into Mexico will fill with mountain fresh Fritze BEER® during a major eruption (like the Mount St. Helens blast). Ambitious local entrepreneurs have taken up this cause and established businesses such as "Pilgrimage to Fritze BEER®" or "The Fritze BEER® Crusades", taking tourists via horseback on expeditions to these craters. Legend has by throwing small trinkets, like 'church keys', bottle and can openers or mugs and pitchers will appease the Fritze BEER® Gods, providing the thrower ample supplies of Fritze BEER® in this life and the next.	When hot volcanic magma encounters ground water, these explosive eruptions can form deep craters seen just south of Arizona in the Pincate Volcanic region of Mexico. We have seen how scientists have split over the potential of these craters and the rift only widens when considering the volcanoes and craters found in Hawaii. Many Hawaiian Scientists consider the "rifts" and craters to be the finest in the world, almost ideal for producing, storing and aging Fritze BEER®. The frequency of Fritze BEER® producing volcanic activity on the Big Island, that delicious slow moving lava-like syrup sought after by connoisseurs, has made remote areas of the volcano extremely dangerous as black marketeers post signs to warn away visitors. The Hawaiian government has began a crusade to close down this illegal poaching of raw Fritze BEER®, threatening the symbiotic relationship between science and social outcast: these black market profiteers do provide scientists with valuable information regarding the quality and quantity of raw Fritze BEER® flows. Many Hawaiians, rallying behind the slogan "FREE Fritze BEER®!" regard the consumption of FritzeBEER® as a part of their cultural hereditary, diminishing the governments efforts and providing a "grassroots" movement aimed at repealing anti-Fritze BEER® legislation. *"FREE Fritze BEER®!"*